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Sammie Jo
 
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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Samantha's LiveJournal:

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Monday, April 17th, 2006
9:06 am
Overdue
i must say that i am overdue for a much needed update...not much more has been going on in my life except for the fact that i'm in LOVE...lol...Casey and I have been dating now form five months and nothing NOTHING is going to tear us apart...i love him so much but anyway applebee's has slowed down our business at Renos so i am barely scraping by to pay what little bills i do have um so on and so forth i am ready for summer break most definitely i had dinner with Casey and his family yesterday evening and his grandparents are just the cutest things in the world so ya but anyway i guess i will quit rambling love you guys
sam

Current Mood: calm
Monday, January 23rd, 2006
3:23 am
so this is what insomnia feels like
ok so the clock has hit three twenty three in the morning and i have yet to fall asleep and this makes the third time i have surfed the net tonight...wow...around two am i called my boyfriend because i could not go to sleep and yet he gets upset with me although a couple of days ago he told me that it would be alright if i called all hours of the night if i could not sleep so i did but anyway...over the course of lord knows how long things have been getting to me and i feel alone and as if i have no one to talk to but myself...and what is the point in talking to myself when i already know what is going on...i am debating on wether or not i should change my major but if i do decide to change my major that means moving to roanoke or somewhere to college because not a lot of colleges offer my desired field of study...but right now i am dealing with a steady job, a pretty serious boyfriend, and the familiar atmosphere that i would have to leave behind in order to persue my education and do you know how depressing and heartbreaking that is...it makes me want to stay and study some other major that i am not even that interested in in the first place...i am so confused that it just makes me want to scream and throw things...this kind of helps in a way although i just wish i were talking to someone face-to-face

i feel lost inside of a world
that is not my own
nothing looks familiar here
i hear voices
and i turn to see their face
but no one is there
i am here
alone
screaming
silently behind a smile

now that feels a little better not lot though but i guess that i shall give up now and watch more pointless television...hope to talk to myself soon
sam
Thursday, December 1st, 2005
9:50 pm
*time again*
Name: Samantha
Age: 18
Gender: female
Birthdate: July 19
Birth Place: Kellogg ID
Current Location: Castlewood, VA.
Family Members living with you: mom and step-dad
Middle Name: Joline
Last Name: Barton
Hieght: 5’2” and honestly not getting taller
Weight: do you really wanna know
Eye Color(s): baby blue
Hair Stlye: straight or curly
Hair Color: blonde
Grade: freshman in college
Sports: none
Hobby(s): playing the piano and reading
Pets: 1 cat-kitty and 1 dog-puppy
Favorite..<3 kitty
Color: blue or green
Food: chicken
Candy: chocolate
Movie: fight club (that’s for you casey)
Season: summer. Because I love the sun
Book: i can't choose.
Day of the week: Tuesday/thursday
Month: june and july
Time: 8:31 p.m.
Number: 6
Animal: tiger (hince my tattoo)
Pastime: hanging with my friends and being stupid
Band: Shinedown or 10 years
Song: too many to name
Internet Site: honestly there is a gagillion of them so don’t ask
Gender: females to talk to/ males to flirt with
Store: ae, maurices, aeropostale, gap and so on
Ice Cream Flavor: banana split or coconut or banana or peanut butter don’t make me choose please
Scent: i love a GOOOD smellin guy
Eye Color: blue or green
Hair Color: doesn’t matter
Subject: math
Place to Visit: las vegas
Grade, so far: 12
Holiday: christmas
Dog breed: i like cute little fuzzy dogs, wiener dogs, or huge dogs
Game: board game-clue computer-Sims 2
Actor: Brad Pitt lol or I don’t know
Singer: a lot
Actress: Julia Stiles
Childhood toy: teddy roxspin (or however you spell it)
Restauraunt: Logan’s Chili’s or Applebee’s
Type of music: all types of music
Pair of shoes you own: any flip flops, or the boots that I just recently bought
Do You...<3
Smoke: no
Drink: sometimes
Do illegal drugs: no
Use perscription drugs: if i'm sick
Suffer from Depression: no
Suffer from O.C.D: no
Suffer from Bipolar disorder: no but I can be a bitch from time to time
Suffer from ADD/ADHD: no
Suffer from anxiety: yes
Suffer from any other metal/emotional disorder: no
Have a boy/girlfriend: sort of
Have a crush: most definitely on casey fox
Have your own room: now that my sis is gone to college
Own computer?: yes
Own TV?: yes
Live alone?: no
Masturbate?: no
Use people: i have before.but lately? no
Cheat on people: no
Lie to loved ones: I have to my mom before
binge and purge: no
starve yourself?: sumtime
Cut/Burn yourself?: sumtimes
Have tattoos: yes
Pericings: my ears and belly button
Have a Job: two but quitting one
Have a band: no
Play an instrument: yes
Love your family: yes
Go to church: no
Pray: sometimes
Drive: yes
Think about suicide: i think about it in general. but i don't think about doing it myself.
Use guns: no
Like violence: not really
Like school: it’s ok
Like the same sex: as friends
Sing: all the time
Dance: yes
Act: yes
Cook well: if I try
Draw well: when i try
Write well: poetry
Preform well: yes
Earn good grades: yes
Have implants/plastic sugery/botox: no lol
Died: if I did then I wouldn’t be here
Slept all day: i have before
Didnt sleep for more than 25 hours: yes
Stolen from a friend: no
Starved yourself: yes
Eaten a reptile: no
Broken somones bone: no
Which ones?: -
Had group sex: no
Beaten up someone: no
Saw someone die: no
Spent the night at a cemetary: apffiany and I can’t even make it to the cemetary let alone sleep in it
Dyed your hair an unnatural color: yes
Slept with a bathing suit on: lol I will have to try that sometime
Thought about suicide?: yes
Cut yourslef: use to do it every day
Burned yourself: nope.
Cryed yourself to sleep: yes
Drank yourself to sleep: no
Stolen anything: no
Had a nervous breakdown: yes
Cussed your mom/dad out: without them knowing it
Been Backstabbed: yes. oh. yes.
Kept a secret from everyone: yes
Broken the law: yes
Tryed commiting suicide: yes
Been out of the country: no
Played Strip Poker: yes
Gone skinny dipping: unfortunately no
Played Truth or Dare: yes
Ran away for more than 24 hours: no
Slept all day: yes
Been on a plane: yes. Twice last summer and once in the winter
Given Oral sex to the same sex: no
Given oral sex to the opposite sex: yes
Recived oral sex from the same sex: no
Recieved oral sex from the opposite sex: yes
Recived/Given Anal Sex: no no no no no no
Used sex toys: no
Been forced to do something sexual: yes
Had cyber sex: no
Watched Pornography: one time
Made Pornography: no
Taken nude pictures of yourself: yes
Dyed your hair: yes
Peirced yourself: yes
Cussed out a teacher: no
Friends..<3
Best: definitely apiffany and casey
Closest: most definitely apiffany
Oldest: casey
Newest: sarah
Tallest: apiffany
Shortest: candace
Shyest: ginger
Loudest: jo anna
Smartest: me of course
Hottest: laura
Most Troubled: jo anna
Trustworthiest: casey
Bitchiest: we all have our moments
Most Sexually active: me
Addictions and Obsessions..<3
Adicted to drugs: no
Addicted to sex: no
Addicted to anything else?: music
Obsessed with anyone: yes
Obsessed with looks: some of them
Obsessed with weight: I wish all the time if I were smaller
Obsessed with how people see you: not really
Last Person..<3
You called: casey
You kissed: casey
You hugged: casey
You held hands with: casey
You Had sex with: n/a
You Cryed to: my mom
You Yelled at: my mom
You asked for advice: tabby
You saw a movie with: amanda
You IMed: tuna
You talked to in person: mom
Who cussed at you: I don’t know
Who hit you: oreo
Who hurt your feelings: almost all my friends
Who called a degrading name: casey but he was kidding
Who comforted you: casey
You were in love with: ...
You had a serious relashonship with: aaron
You lost: my grandpa
Deep Thoughts, Questions, Beliefs..<3
Believe there is a Heaven and Hell: yeah
Does God have a Gender: I’m not for sure
Where we go when we die: heaven or hell
Who is greater, Satan or God: God
Life on other planets: no
Are ghosts real: yes..maybe?
Is there really such a thing called: uhm?
Magic?: not for sure
Do you wish on stars: yes
Believe in Astrology and all that Jazz?: not really but i like to read it..
Are you..<3
Beautiful: I think so
Ugly: I don’t think so
Shy: yes at first
Quiet: at first
Loud: yes when i'm around certain people
Out-Going: yes
Confident: mostly
Okay with yourself: for the most part
Submissive: depends
Dominate: sometimes..
Smart: yes
Dumb: no
Content: somewhat
Hated: probably
Loved: maybe
Enveyed: possibly??
Wanted: I hope so
Accepted: mostly
Weird: yes
An outcast: no
Rejected: no
Understood: no
Cold: sometimes
Respectful: yes
Organized: mostly
Messy: not really
Shallow: i have moments
Deep: usually
Feared: i dunno
Slutty: sometime
A virgin: no
Artistic: yes
Talented: yes
Obsessive: yes
Addicted: yes
In love: sometimes I question
Worried: no
Anxious: yes
Excited: yes
Tired: very
Energetic: now? not at all
Talkative: of course
Trutworthy: yes
Repetative: definately
Perverted: I have my moments
This or That..<3
Sex/Drugs: sex
Bush/Kerry: bush
Abortion/Suicide: Abortion
Cuts/Burns: cuts
Day/Night: day
Summer/Winter: summer
Hot/Cold: hot.
Fall/Spring: spring
Old/Young: young
Music/Silence: music
CDs/Radio: cds
Inside/Outside: it depends
Boys/Girls: boys
Pornography/Photography: photography
Black/White: white
Horror/Drama: horror
Reading/Writing: reading
Movies/Shopping: shopping but I love movies
Shoes/Sandles: summer sandals shoes winter
Ocean/Pool: ocean
Slides/Swings: swings
Mysapce/VF: myspace
Feet/Hands: hands
Serial Killers/Rapists: serial killers
AIM/YAhoo: yahoo
Planes/Cars: planes
Hot/Gorgeous: gorgeous
Sex/Kissing: kissing
Diamonds/Love: love
Cards/Luck: luck
Coke/Pepsi: WATEr
Vanilla/Chocolate:chocolate
Tall/Short: tall
Loners/Stoners: loners
For or Against..<3
Abortion: your choice
Gay Marrage: your choice
Suicide: your choice
Freedom of Speach: for
Uniforms: for
Drugs: against
Pornography: your choice
Chat Rooms: no opinion
Group Sex: against
Sex Toys: your choice
Segregation: against
Racism: against
Sexism: against
Stem-cell research: for
Religion: for
Love: for
Sin: everyone does
Lust: for
Greed: well...for...
Bush: for
Government: the concept for. they way it is now against
School: for
Opinions: for
Animal Abuse: against
Child Abuse: against
Music: FOR
At this Moment are you..<3
Tired: very
Bored: yes
Hungry: no
Thirsty: yes
High: no
Drunk: no
Horny: no
Listening to Music: no
Worried: yes
Online: yes
On the phone: no
Drinking: no
Eating: no
Singing: no
Whats on your mousepad:i don't use one.
Lonley: right now yes
Content: not really
What are you wearing: plaid pajama bottoms and a john deere pull over
In a serious relashonship.: no but hopefully soon
Turn On, Turn Off..<3
Pain: depends
Blood: off
Gentleness: on
Roughness: dpends on how much
Submissive: on in a way
Dominance: on in a way
Body Hair: eww no no no
Tall: on
Short: off
Skinny: if their fit turn on
Pale: off
Fat: off
Tan: on
Kissing: on
Heat: between the two on
Lips: on
Tattoos: on
Peircings: especially belly button
Music: on
Innocence: kind of on
Dirtyness: on..to a certain extent
Size: not too big not too small
Love: on
Favorite things about the Opposite sex..<3
Eye Color: blue or green
Hair Color: blonde or brown
Hair length: depends on how they wear it
Height: tall
Weight: average
Skin Tone: kind of tan kind of not
Race: depends
Intelligence level: moderate to high
Interests: music
Personality: I love a sweetheart who knows how to treat me right
Sex..<3
Number of times you've had sex: n/a
Number of partners: 2
Sex Toys? n/a
Favorite Position: I like to mix
Kinkiest thing you've done: none of your business
Given Oral Sex: yes
Recived Oral Sex: yes
More than one partner at a time(3sum,4sum): no
Had Sex(intercourse,oral) for money,drugs, or any other items: no
Number of..<3
Concerts you've been to: a couple
Past boyfriends/girlfriends: official 4 or 5
Sexual Partners: umm didn’t you already ask that
Siblings: 2
Best Friends: 3 or 4
Schools you've been to: 5
Times you've moved: around 30 or so
Times you've stolen something: none
ex's: 3 or 4
Pets: 2
SN's you've made: ???
Times you've cryed in this week: 2 or 3

Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
Red light, can't stop, so I spin the wheel
My world goes black before I
Feel an angel lift me up

And I open bloodshot eyes
Into fluorescent white
They flip the siren, hit the lights
Close the doors, and I am gone

Now I lay here owing my life
To a stranger, and I realize
That empty words are not enough
I'm left here with the question of just

What have I to show except
The promises I never kept?
I lie here shaking on this bed
Under the weight of my regrets

And I hope...that I will never let you down
And I know...that this can be more than just
Flashing lights and sound...

Look around and you'll see that at times
It feels like no one really cares
It gets me down, but I'm still gonna try to do
What's right, I know that there's a

Difference between sleight of hand
And giving everything you have
There's a line drawn in the sand
I'm working up the will to cross it

And I hope...that I will never let you down
And I know...that this can be more than just
Flashing lights and sound...

Rhetoric can't raise the dead, I'm sick of always
Talking...when there's no change
Rhetoric can't raise the dead, I'm sick of empty words
Let's lead, and not follow

Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
Red light, can't stop, so I spin the wheel
My world goes black before I
Feel an angel steal me from the

Greedy jaws of death and chance
And pull me in with steady hands
They've given me a second chance
The artist in the ambulance

And I hope...that I will never let you down
And I know...that this can be more than just
Flashing lights and sound...

Can we pick you off the ground?
More than flashing lights and sound...

Current Mood: content
Tuesday, November 29th, 2005
12:23 pm
once again
today i have nothing to say...i had a long talk with oreo last night and it really helped to know exactly where each other stands..but yeah...there is nothing i have to say to the people who have been posting no name comments on my journal...because they are just showing there immaturity..but anyway i got to see casey yesterday for the first time since last tuesday....i went to cleveland, tn. last friday and got most of my christmas shopping done...spent way too much though...but anyway that is all for today
sam

Current Mood: okay
Monday, November 28th, 2005
12:40 pm
all right
all right i know that my last message was just a little harsh and yes i admit i am upset are you happy now? you reached your goal to make me feel like complete shit...but for what?...being me...being happy...but enough about that i am done with this say what you want...call me a bitch, a slut, a whore, a tramp...whatever i am through if you guys don't want to be my friends then you don't have to i am not going to beg you..but if you do that's cool...and oreo i owe an apology i understand you were just sticking up for yourself..and me..in a way...but i understand i guess...anyway like i said you guys can be my friends or just keep dogging me....but i am with casey and that is where i want to be...we aren't in a serious relationship...just talking but right now that is what makes me happy and if you guys can't grow up and realize that we aren't in high school anymore then you would be happy for me...but i guess some people never learn...but anyway
sam

Current Mood: okay
8:09 am
that's it
EVERYBODY JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP PUTTING FUCKING WORDS IN MY MOUTH DESPITE WHAT ANYONE SAYS I KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND OREO I TALKED TO YOU AND I AM SORRY IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BELIEVE WHAT I SAID...ALRIGHT...ALL OF YOU JUST STOP AND WHOEVER YOU ARE POSTING COMMENTS LIKE THAT ON MY JOURNAL BE A MAN AND DON'T POST THEM WITH NO NAME....WHOEVER YOU ARE YOU ARE JUST A COWARD A FUCKING COWARD...AND HOW COME NO ONE SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT WHEN I WAS DATING DANIEL NO ONE SAID ONE THING AND NOW THAT I AM JUST TALKING TO SOMEONE EVERYONE HAS TO DOG ME FOR IT....YOUR NOT MY FUCKING MOTHER SO STAY OUT OF MY DAMN BUSINESS...ALL OF YOU IF I DON'T SHARE WITH YOU PERSONALLY THAN YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY ANYTHING...AND I DON'T OWE ANY OF YOU AN EXPLANATION AS TO WHY OREO AND I BROKE UP NONE OF YOU AND OREO I SAID NOTHING ABOUT YOU SO WHY BITCH ME OUT....AND NO IT'S NOT KILLING ME THAT YOU ARE DOING OK I AM ACTUALLY HAPPY FOR YOU....LIKE I SAID EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP

Current Mood: bitchy
Sunday, November 27th, 2005
8:44 am
*Setting the Record Straight*
as you know i have been talking to this other guy but that doesn't mean that i am a slut...that doesn't mean that i am going to sleep with him....it DOESN'T make me a bad person...oreo and i had some differences and well since we aren't immature like most people around us we are still tight...i mean really if some people that are really dogging me over this were really my friends then you would support my desicion...and that's exactly what it is my desicion and my business...i really feel good about this guy but that doesn't mean a thing....well that is really all i have to say hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving
sam

Current Mood: pissed off
Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005
11:45 pm
*Digging up the Past*
ok so last tuesday November 15 i get a call from someone that i had a crush on throughout high school and we went on a date that night and things just kind of fell in place after that it was like i don't it's like we picked up where we left off ya know and i don't know i love every second that i spend with him it's like he completes me i don't know i guess i will quit rambling on...but be good guys
love ya
sam

Current Mood: crappy
Saturday, November 12th, 2005
12:28 am
*.........yep...........*
alright well i had another GREAT day today i woke up yet again at 7:30 took a shower and left for school where i met daniel...*thinks about his eyes* ok sorry anyway we sat together for about an hour in the cold and let me tell you it was FREEZING cold but he kept me warm *wink* well then i went to practice and well we just won't touch that subj. then i went to anatomy where i BOMBED a test but what else is new and then came the dreaded work and now i am here and i have to get up and be in big stone gap by 8:00 in the morning for practice i hope i get to see daniel before i leave for home again..but that is all for now...miss ya daniel love bunches
sam

Current Mood: enthralled
Thursday, November 10th, 2005
9:14 pm
*about that time*
well i guess it is about that time that i update this journal again...well last time you guys heard from i was not to well mentally...but now that i am finally mentally well i am physically under the weather...i have bronchitis...and my back and chest is killing me...am currently watching my favorite show *does happy dance for the invention of D.V.R*....i am now trying to spark a relationship between me and this guy i go to college with named daniel he makes me laugh not to mention those killer blue eyes...i don't know what it is about blue eyes that make my knees weak..but anyway enough about him....i really wish that the choices that i have made this week hurt some of my friends but i never meant for it to be that way i have created some life time lasting friendships this year and i don't want to question those in the long run...but yeah i don't know what else there is for me to say so i guess i will get on off of here

hugs and kisses
sam

Current Mood: relaxed
Sunday, November 6th, 2005
10:17 pm
*Not Much*
ok so i haven't completely come out of the depressed state that i have been staying in lately...work has helped keep things off of my mind but then again it has just added on to the stress...it's just right now i am very bored with the things in my life...don't get me wrong i love all my friends but i really need a break from EVERYTHING....just take a breather ya know....my cousin went in for ANOTHER surgery today man i just wish that i could take it all away from him cause he is only 9 and i never really got to spend that much time with him...but what can you do but pray...well i am done i am very tired....
hugs and kisses
sam

Current Mood: blah
Wednesday, November 2nd, 2005
9:11 pm
*.....................*
ok so today didn't go as bad as my past couple of days have been only two things happened to me...oreo and i called it quits and they found ANOTHER infection in my cousin another spot.....*cries*...the thing about my cousin is that he lives in idaho and i really haven't gotten to be there for him when he was growing up becaue we live so far apart but you know what can you do i am thinking about flying out with my grandmother and spending a week with them out there...you know when families in need there are sacrifices that we need to make...and i am just amazed at how strong he is being right now....ok i really need to change the subject....my grandmother is fine it was just a close call....my mother didn't lay one hand on me today and she was civil....ok today at school me, reno, and daniel went to chinese in wise..."we thought oreo and them were right behind us but we got mixed up and they were in big stone gap" but the food was really good and sara and i got pink balloons and then on the way back to the college we sang ashlee simpson while daniel held our balloons in the back seat so then i went to anatomy but i stuck the balloon under my sweater because people were trying to pop it and then i went to get my book bag and this guy picked it up for me...i guess he thought he would help the "pregnant" lady out...how funny....anyway then during the middle of anatomy dr. strength was like "samantha what is that exactly in your shirt" laugh out loud...anyway and then we had play practice and that is it now i am watching cinderella while my dog puppy is snoring beside me....well be good
hugs and kisses
sam

Current Mood: sleepy
Tuesday, November 1st, 2005
3:42 pm
*Just Another Day*
Once again nothing exciting has happened in my life....probably because i just really separated my self today from everyone else...i just didn't feel like talking to anyone or sharing my problems i feel as if the only that i honestly want to open up to right now is my paper, pen, and that oh so bitter sweet silver that trace the lines of blue down arm....i know that i shouldn't result to that and that in my past i problems with them and then i didn't know where the problems started but now i do...i understand they began with home and with my mom...but ya i think that is all that i should say for now i wrote a poem....
sam

Drowning in a puddle
Of anger and rage
How could I allow myself
To get this low
Having nothing to live for
No one to turn to
My God, I'm lost in my own life
I can not escape the pain
Everywhere I turn
Something new is waiting
To be thrown in my face
Stuck inside a play
Playing my role
But somewhere I forgot my lines
Just leave me alone
All of you
I do not want your pitty
I do not need your fucking pitty
And the one thing I want
Is right in my face
But out of reach
Thinking constantly of the smooth silver
Kissing my blue veins
How I missed the pleasure
Of watching blood drip to the floor
Like watching every second of pain
I have endured
Shatter, what more could I want? what more?
Wishing away this Hell
Begging and pleading
But for now I will play a part
In this masqurade
With my paper face on display

Current Mood: numb
Monday, October 31st, 2005
9:41 pm
*Not So Happy Halloween*
So i didn't get out of the house. i went to wal-mart after play practice to return my halloween stuff that i didn't get to use and i bought the new papa roach c.d and the new atreyu c.d. and then i went and picked up my check and laura showed up at work with cadence and shannon and i thought that was so sweet cause she saw my car there...but then i went home and my mom tried to start her shit again and get me all riled up but then i just wouldn't talk to her and she said something stupid like i was punishing her for something i did....what a fucking lie....well then she was like Garrett's in the hospital and having emergency surgery....for those of you who don't know he has juvenile diatbetes and i don't know exactly what's wrong but what better time right...i don't know sometimes i wish i had a hole to crawl in and hide..but ya
sam

Chained to my own lies
Tormented daily by the past
I just want to escape
Break free from the sins that have bound me
Wanting more than want I got
Sacrificing everything throwing it on the table
Hiding nothing from myself
But revealing everything
Paper faces daily hiding
What the inside has to offer
My enemy is not alone
In the mirror there’s a stranger
As I try to breakout
My panic lead to fear, hopeless
I’m alone; I’m afraid the end is near
Worn out from all the struggles
Just wishing upon myself eternal sleep
Slitting my wrists to beautiful perfection
Licking the salt from my wounds
Art now dripping from my veins
Do you see the hurt?
The pain
I screaming for someone to save me
Nothing but a smile can emerge from my lips
I open to speak
Why can’t you see?
A new scar for every time you ignored me
No more room my arms now in shreds
Gazing now at my heart in my hands
Throbbing now an ache in my head
Now will you see?
What you have done to me?
Pushed me away
Always forget
But you never forgive
I hope you know you lost my respect
You make me sick
Does it run in your blood
To betray the ones you love?
I hear all your fucking
Empty promises
I look fine on the outside
But on the inside I am dying
I am not listening
Not anymore
The more I hear the more I ignore
No I am not a failure
I’ve got something to prove

Current Mood: sad
12:44 am
*What a Weekend*
man have i had a weekend and a half...i am not going to go into detail because i think that for some of you that read this...it's really none of your business...ok that sounded mean i didn't mean for it to but anyway...so yeah i am hoping that i get to go out with some of my friends for halloween and not locked up in the house but that doesn't look to promising right now...i know i was invited by johnny to go witht them to the Pub but i don't have a costume and i don't know if i am going to get out of the house...but on a lighter note i got the new ashlee simpson c.d....and i think that she is the most awesome person in the hold world...but anyway here are some lyrics have a good one guys

"Catch Me When I Fall"

Is anybody out there
Does anybody see
That when the lights are off something's killing me

I know it seems like people care
Cause they're always around me
But when the day is done and everybody runs

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall

When the show is over
And it's empty everywhere
It's hard to face going back alone
So I walk around the city
Anything, anything to clear my head
I've got nowhere to go nowhere but home

Who will be the one to save me from myself
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl
Who's gonna catch me when I fall

It may seem I have everything
But everything means nothing
When the ride that you've been on
That you're coming off
Leaves you feeling lost

Is anybody out there
Does anyobdy see
That sometimes loneliness is a part of me

Who will be the one to save me from myself?
Who will be the one who's there
And not ashamed to see me crawl?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall
And not ashamed to see me crawl?
Who's gonna catch me when I fall?

"Beautifully Broken"

It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday I din't know how hard I could cry
It feels like tomorrow I may not get by

But I will try
I will try

Wipe the tears from my eyes
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't care if I show it
Everyday is a new day
I'm reminded of the past
Every timet there's another storm
I know that it won't last
Every moment I'm filled with hope cause I got another chance

But I will try
I will try

Got nothing
Left to hide
Without the highs and the lows
Where would we go
Where would we go

Current Mood: sleepy
Friday, October 28th, 2005
12:43 am
*Battle of the Sexes*
Ok so today was turning out to be a pretty shitty day i had a really bad head ache and wasn't feeling so well...but then my friend johnny brought this game called the battle of the sexes...well we played from like ten until 2 or so i don't remember and then me, o, sara, heather, flick, and johnny all piled in his four passenger car and went to norton to get pizza then took it back to the college and started playing the game again and then we played until five but we had a championship and the guys won BUT i think they cheated and it kind of scared me because some of those guys knew way to many answers to be straight...sorry guys...but i got hit in the hand with a pool stick and it left a bruise...then i came home and visited with my little niece then my friend apiffany and i went to wal-mart and the huddle house and then i came home...and i think that is about it i really don't want to go to work tomorrow but oh well
hugs and kisses
sam

Current Mood: sore
Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
12:52 pm
*Nothing to say but meaningful lyrics*
i am in one of those moods where i really don't need to vent but here are some meaningful lyrics


"Wasteland"

Change my attempt good intentions

Crouched over
You were not there
Living in fear
But signs were not really that scarce
Obvious tears
But I will not
Hide you through this
I want you to help
And please see
The bleeding heart perched on my shirt

Die, withdraw
Hide in cold sweat
Quivering lips
Ignore remorse
Naming a kid, living wasteland
This time you've tried
All that you can turning you red

Change my attempt good intentions
Should I, could I
Here we are with your obsession
Should I, could I

Crowned hopeless
The article read living wasteland
This time you've tried
All that you can turning you red
but I will not
Hide you through this
I want you to help

Change my attempt good intentions
Should I, could I

Here we are with your obsession
Should I, could I

Heave the silver hollow sliver
Piercing through another victim
Turn and tremble be judgmental
Ignorant to all the symbols
Blind the face with beauty paste
Eventually you'll one day know

Change my attempt good intentions
Limbs tied, skin tight
Self inflicted his perdition

Should I, could I
Change my attempt good intentions
Should I, could I
Should I, could I

"Through The Iris"

Cherish
Two circular views of blue with a gray shade
So captivating
More than you know

False perceptions
That brought forth these questions of
Truth, love and hope
Now that you're injuring
I carry you with me just
Please hold on

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
Through the iris

Love's not all lost
But it's nailed to my cross
And crucified all that I've held on
To be awaiting
Anticipating a touch such as yours

False affection
A spawn of neglecting
A love, lust, hoax
Please understand me
That now where you're standing
Is closer then I'd hoped

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
Through the iris

Your Iris
Your Iris

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
Through the iris

Disappear and dissolve
A weakening wall
Will one day fall
It's wise to sever our loss
I redefine pulse
A new iris



"Beautifully Broken"

It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday I din't know how hard I could cry
It feels like tomorrow I may not get by

But I will try
I will try

Wipe the tears from my eyes
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken
And I don't care if I show it
Everyday is a new day
I'm reminded of the past
Every timet there's another storm
I know that it won't last
Every moment I'm filled with hope cause I got another chance

But I will try
I will try

Got nothing
Left to hide
Without the highs and the lows
Where would we go
Where would we go

Current Mood: anxious
Monday, October 24th, 2005
11:09 pm
*Intentions*
Mind racing a million miles a minute
Fingers racing with emotions at my fingertips
My God I love you with all my heart
But for some reason I feel as if you don't believe me
Why do I feel as if it is so hard
To have some one understand
I just wanna run away and hide in a Neverland
Where nothing can go wrong
Why does everything make sense in my head but to no one else
My intentions were to never hurt you
But to love and care for you
I wish for one second
Everything would disappear
I never meant to keep you waiting
You can't imagine how much you mean to me
Man if there was only some way I could help you understand
Why am I angry I have no reason to be
But I guess there are things that I just can't control
Saturday, October 22nd, 2005
12:58 am
*ya ya ya*
ok so not really alot happening here....sara, my twin, spent the night last night and we were watching movies and we fell asleep at like 9 p.m...how lame is that...right?...but we were so tired but anyway i had a SHITTY day at work cause my boss sucks and i hate him with a passion and well we just won't go into the story because it is way to personal but really i have nothing else to say...oh yeah i get my glasses in the morning

hugs and kisses
sam

Current Mood: disappointed
Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
10:41 pm
*If I Fall*
*Brighter Than Sunshine*

I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling

Tied up in ancient history
I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
Brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, i don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine
And it's brighter than sunshine

I never saw it happening
I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again
What a feeling

I didn't have the strength to fight
Suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you
What a feeling

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun
It's brighter than the sun, sun, shine.

Love will remain a mystery
But give me your hand and you will see
Your heart is keeping time with me

What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine
It's brighter than sunshine
Let the rain fall, I don't care
I'm yours and suddenly you're mine
Suddenly you're mine

I got a feeling in my soul
*If I Fall*

Swept away
By the wonder of it all
So amazed
Never saw it coming
Left me dazed
And i don't know where to turn

Here and now
Seems i'm standing on the edge
Looking down
I can clearly see your face
In the crowd
Makes me feel i'm not alone

If i fall
Will you catch me

Seems to me
I'm exactly where i dreamt
I would be
And the view from here is
Something to see
But i need a hand to hold on to

If i fall
Will you catch me

Current Mood: cranky
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